For a good portion of my adult life, I’ve worked at home. So you would think that working from home last year would be a piece of cake. It wasn’t. Everything I envisioned was altered and I had to find the energy to keep moving, which included frequently changing plans (I know you can relate to this). Toward the end of the year, I found some motivation to work on online classes and YouTube videos. I’m making plans for more. The techie nerd in me enjoys playing with the technology. I am inspired by this new direction.
Dear husband and I were spending so much time at home, we began seeing what needed fixing around the house. Since our schedule was going to be slow during December, we decided to replace the flooring in our offices (aka spare bedrooms). We had to pack everything up and move it out so all the rooms were completely empty. It felt like we were moving out. Of course while the rooms were empty — might as well paint, right? Six weeks later, I’m still unpacking. I’m re-staging my rooms to start fresh for 2021 and letting go of the old. I’m donating my unwanted items to charity. It feels good to let go of the extra baggage.
I’m also paying attention to how I feel. I love the idea of starting over, it’s exciting. But, I also realize it makes me a bit anxious too, mostly because things aren’t in their usually place. Things aren’t “normal.” This seems odd, because I’m not a very tidy person. What I’m realizing is I like order in my chaos. It drives me crazy when I can’t find something I need. So even if my desk looks a bit messy … I know where everything is! Well, until half of my stuff is still packed in boxes. ARGH!!
The good news is I’m slowly finding order again. In the “cleansing,” I’ve discovered that I need to spend more time enjoying life and focus on short term goals. There’s too much that can happen between now and anything too far out. Shoot, even plans for tomorrow can easily be disrupted. I’ve also realized my anxiety about things not being normal, isn’t just about my house. It’s about the world.
The pandemic has changed things. The things we once took for normal, aren’t. The things we thought were in a certain place are misplaced or missing (e.g, family, work, school, health, etc.). If you are feeling anxious, know that you aren’t alone. Reach out to friends, family or find an online community (Zoom has been a savior for many of us). Spend time with your thoughts, less time on social media and do something you love. Focus on today, walk in the sunshine, dance to your favorite music, make art! Just hang in there and remember to take care of you.
